11/12/2007 by Neil.

Well, after Nelly the Elephant packed his trunk, and said goodbye to the circus.

He decided, for some strange reason, that it would be a great idea to spend the next month stuck in front of a PC creating a 3 minute picture show of last New Year’s hoedown at Ewen Palace.

After hours of cutting people’s heads off, making them jingle, sticking them in buckets and popping out of Paul Ewen’s stomach. (Tell me Di, what was it like in there? No, on second thoughts, I’d rather not know!) one finished song was completed.

I’d had plans to do about three tunes, but I’ve got to be honest, I think I’ve developed a touch of RSI…….

I’ll try and get a DVD made for everyone for Christmas, so you can watch it at home in Hi-Definition, digital surround sound, Technicolor, or you can just use the disc as a coaster.

Steve has provided a link to a web version, so you can cringe at it while at work:

http://www.deepmilk.co.uk/usmedia/us_nursery.html

Be warned though, you’ll be singing the song all day if you do. I’ve had it going round my head for the past month and I’ve only just got rid of Cocacabaña from last year.

Any chance that this year’s party can be held in a room with plain white walls? It would make editing soooooo much easier. A blue screen background would be even better. That way I can superimpose us all say, on the Bridge of the Titanic? Just before Di asks if it’s at all possible to get some ice for her brandy and diet coke!

Enjoy

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27/11/2007 by Neil.

With the weather man predicting a glorious sunny weekend (he lied) we decided as we were free for the weekend to head over to the Island to see me mam, and get another section of the Island coastal path completed.

The coastal path is around 75 miles long, and we have been walking it in small ½ to 3 miles sections as part of various circular walks, which may be as much as 9 miles long. So far we have completed the vast majority of the 75 mile path, probably walking at least double that in the process.

Well last weekends section was a 6½ mile circular route starting and finishing at a well used establishment of ours, The Folly Inn.

Actual map of route walked

Coastal route walked so far (click image to enlarge)

Walking along the banks of the river Medina to the Island Harbour Marina, past the Ryde Queen Paddle steamer, which is as you can see is in sorry old state.

Would you believe it, that in my younger days, when I was a lot fitter, thinner, and had a good head of hair, I used to have many a good night out on her, when she was a very popular night club. The girls didn’t stand a chance. “How youuuu do-innnnn”.

Like me though, she hasn’t faired well, although her funnel has now fallen off, at least mine is still well and truly intact !!! Aint that right jen………jen …JENnnn

Anyway, moving on, we headed inland until where we saw this rather menacing sign on a gate. Must get one of these.

This was followed by a rather strange site in a field. It was like something from a 1970’s episode of Doctor Who. “The Invasion of the Killer Post-boxes”………

They fire high velocity letters as weapons. First class ones decapitate you, but second class ones only stun and leave you with a rather nasty black eye and the excess postage to be paid.

Nasty…….

But their evil plans were thwarted when the Doctor arranged a 48 postal strike. Hurrah. The Earth is saved.

Time to continue me thinks. We followed the route of the old Island railways, another successful closure from Beaching, and into The town of Wotton where we came across this wood carving.

I think they got Jen’s better side, don’t you ?

From here it was the long trek back to the Folly, passing this new designer Bus Stop.

Our feet were aching by this point, so it was tempting to wait for a bus, but we thought from the size of it, it was a bus stop for the vertically impaired only. Political correctness gone mad if you ask me.

And now as our adventurous treks ends we fall into the pub for our just reward. Big mistake sitting on that big comfy sofa though, as our eyes began to close……

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29/10/2007 by Neil.

Ok everyone. Thinking hats on.

I’m about to start putting together last years new years photo’s, as I did for the The Vagas one.

But I’m gonna need some suitable music. Something with a nurery rhyme theme to it. Prefereably something a bit up beat.

So suggestions please, and mp3 them to me if possible. Probably going to need at least two tracks for the picture’s themselves, plus some music for the front titles.

The only thing I could think of of was that was lsightly nursery rhyme-ish was “Nelly the Elephant”. I think it was the Toy Dolls ?

Get thinking.

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16/10/2007 by Neil.

After seeing some pretty errrrr different photos on the blog recently? (no not the gerbil) Myself and Steve have decided that a blog, that we can all add to, must be started in honour of our eerrrrrr alternative memeber of the US.

As Bo Rap seems to be our anthem, I thought we could all contribute to produce an alternative. Paul Rap.

I’ll start off with the first 4 lines of this alternative version (obviusly to the same tune) and everyone else can join in, adding the next line as we go.

So here goes (cue funky 70’s video)

********************
He’s looking for a weird wife
To join in his fantasies
And get covered in makeup
To escape from reality
*********************

Ok now it’s your turn. Except for Paul that is. You just need to sit back and errrrr enjoy the ride

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03/10/2007 by Neil.

Funny how things can go wrong all at once. On average, thoses inconvienient events, tend to spreed themselves out, but every now and again, you get problem after problem. Sometimes they can all be completely unrelated to each other, sometime as in my cae here, they are sort of linked.. You get a years dose in a period of a few weeks.

Well it seems thats happening to our motor at the moment. I was contemplating these thoughts last Friday morning whilst standing on the hard shoulder of the M3 in the drizzel waiting for the AA main to come do his stuff. I thought, things come in 3’s, this breakdown is the third and last I hope. Pahh !

I’d recently had two bulbs go on the car, spaced about a week apart. The problem with new cars, is that changing a headlight bulb, can mean taking half the engine appart just to get at the rear of your lights. You then need specialist tools just to get bulbs in and out. A new take on the “how many people does it take to change a lightbulb” gag. 3 men, a cabinet full of tools and a bank loan it seems.

Anyway, the AA man turned up and towed the car to the garage for me. He seemed confident that the large red light on my dashboard saying “STOP CAR NOW ! “, would turn out to be something minor and cheap to fix.

£460 later………. (not including the £126 for the hire car I’ve had for the past week) I thought what else can go wrong. I had, previous to the M3 event, ear marked the car for new brakes and disc to be done this week, as they were due. That itself would be a very un-pretty penny. So I was to say the least, not particulary overjoyed when I got home last night after picking the car up from it’s major surgery, to hear, as we walked to our front door, a hissing sound coming from a front tyre courtesy of wopping great screw !

It was dark by then, and pouring with rain. Always the best time to change a tyre. I think everyone should have to do it in such conditions at least once in their life, so can realise what a joy it is. The beer after was well deserved I thought…..

So this morning, driving to work, I sat listening to every knock, bang, creak coming from my car. Awaiting the next wallet lightening opertunity my motor would present to me…

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24/09/2007 by Neil.

Well lets start my first blog with one of those strange holiday stories.

As you all know we had a small trip to sunnier climes recently, a chance to top up on my sunburn, mosquito bites and liver deterioration. Jen had a relaxing time too.

We arrived to be greated by an Indian version of David Bedford. “got your number” we said to ourselves. (although I thought he looked a bit more like the Harry Enfield Scouser characters). Anyway, we had a little chuckle about this whilst filling in our registration card, which we then handed over to get our room key.

We were in room 118.

Oh boy here we go. And when we got to room, there laid out on the bed were our numbered beach towels, so we just couldn’t resist a photo opportunity. The moustashes are real by the way. Well it was a long journey and no opportunity to shave.

But to continue….. we unpacked and got the valuables put into the safe. One of those digital ones, where you set up your own code number, which we usually set to the first 4 digits of our phone number, which are………..

0118

Note, any potential thieves out there, who are planning to follow us on next hol’, and try to break into the safe using the above numbers, we will of course not use them again. we will use the last four instead.

So where else could those numbers crop up.

Palm trees.

Basically, every palm tree on the island is numbered (a way of keeping track of the coconut cropping we think). So on our first night, we go to dinner and we get allocated a table for the week. Ours was by the wall, where we could look out and see………….. a certain palm tree. I wont bother to tell you the number painted on it, but a photo is supplied.

I think we will be taking the hint and get some lottery tickets. How many derivertives of 118 can be used?

1, 8, 11 & 18 to start. 9, 10, 19 perhaps?……..

The rest of the holiday went as normal as a Maldivian holiday can go. Plenty of book reading, snorkeling, and attempting to work our way through the cocktail list. Of the 59 we got through 26 of them. Not bad for just a week. Many of the remainder were just the boring ones, Screwdriver, Bloody mary etc. They hardly count. Besides, the beer was ice cold, and more my cup of tea, or cup of beer…. Mind you drinking too many, can make you wear silly shirts. Look what I ended up in after a few dozen jars !

Should have stuck with the cocktails………..

Well thats it for now. I’m off to scratch and pick at my mosquito bites (well over 60 of them…….nice) usually, they always go for Di, but she not there !!! I was a suitable substitute it seems.

laters

neil

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